make me a match

Call me vain, but my biggest reason for being an advocate of online dating is the result that it has had on my self worth. 

Whenever online dating comes up in conversation, the most common initial reaction is something along the lines of "oh I'm not desperate enough to resort to the online scene" or "I want to meet somebody ORGANICALLY" (which what does that even mean, by the way?). There was a point where this was my sentiment as well, until I decided to bite the bullet and give "match" a shot. Sure, I got a plethora of creepy messages (one older gentleman emailed me around 20 times, once stating that he "wouldn't mind dating a sexy librarian"... thanks but no thanks, scumbag) - but I also got to talk with and meet some really amazing people. I also learned how to date, something I had never really done prior to joining the online scene.

As my match experience started to die down and messages with guys that actually had potential grew fewer and further between, I decided to move on to the "scandalous" Tinder. Let me tell you something - I have never had more fun in my entire life. Every time I tap the little flame icon for this free app I find something to laugh about. One gentleman who was simply driving through Orlando as he moved up to Jacksonville had a picture of the contents of his trunk as one of his photos, so I messaged him "What ya gonna do with all that junk inside that trunk?" We ended up having a lovely conversation about life as a young adult and how it's difficult to meet people in today's day and age. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that to me doesn't sound like some loser that's desperate to get in a relationship and can only do so by resorting to online dating (aka the go to stereotype of online dating types). Don't get me wrong, the creeps exist in excess on Tinder. I've had horrifying messages of "hey babe I'm just looking to hook up so if you wanna ride me let me know" and also "your bio makes me want to put a ring on it" but I've found myself responding to some of these messages because guess what - there is no commitment. If I don't want to talk to them anymore, I simply block them or stop responding. I'm allowed to relish in every giggle inducing conversation because I don't have to be afraid of them popping up again. One guy messaged me "heyy" and I replied with "TWO Y'S?! Gahlee that's serious, one more and I would have been buying my wedding dress" and he ended up being one of the funniest people I've ever exchanged messages with. 

The first guy I went out with from tinder (shout out to Athiest/Sex Bender Brett) is still somebody I maintain contact with on a consistent basis. I full on adore the kid, and he challenges me to see things in a different light - isn't that what life is all about? I'm interacting with people who also inhabit this world, and I'm constantly growing and morphing my mindset by communicating with others who teach me something new about life, go ahead and ask me a little bit about bowling competitively. So yes, sometimes they're silly things - but sometimes I have conversations concerning the importance of faith and morals, political views, world news, etc. I recently read somewhere that the best way to get people to like you isn't to be interesting, but rather interested - aka ASK QUESTIONS about them and things they're interested in so they feel noticed. And guess what? You end up learning something new and expanding your worldview. Online dating isn't necessarily about "finding your soul-mate"  anymore, it's about creating connections with fellow humans in an effort to participate in the world we exist within.


If nothing else, I'm an advocate of online dating because of the fact that it made me take a look at myself, and gave me the desire to be a better person every day. And the fact that guys find me at least marginally physically attractive is a pretty big plus, sorry I'm not sorry.