Why Write?

As I contemplated my continuation in the blogosphere, my main concern was WHY do I write? Many times clicking the "Publish" button was an anxiety ridden experience because I didn't know how the post would be received. However, as I considered what my motivation behind posting was, I realized it laid not in the hands of my peers but in my own.

I have (self diagnosed) A.D.D. I mean hello, I'm a millennial, is there a single one of us that doesn't struggle with a short attention span? Why does this particular aspect of my character encourage me to write? Writing forces me to sit down and think a concept through. Often I'll have a thought that actually could expound into a meaningful conversation, but it doesn't make it to that point because I don't make the effort to turn the thought into an opinion. Writing forces me to sit down and think a concept through to completion.

Continuing on from that thought, I have a tendency to deconstruct my own arguments. This is both a blessing and a curse as it allows me to see an argument from all sides, but it also makes me second guess the validity of my opinion. Writing enables me to go through the process of deconstructing my argument without making an ass of myself in conversation. Countless times I have (attempted) to make a point in a discussion, only to realize shortly after saying it that my own argument is either invalid OR an idea that I don't necessarily adhere to. I could utilize this and claim I'm playing the role of "devil's advocate" - BUT, being the stubborn individual that I am, I stick to my initial comment and defend my point even though I am well aware of how unstable my argument is. 

Now is the point where I deconstruct my own argument and consider the fact that an individual should never get too cemented in their own opinions. HOWEVER! I have a counter to my counter. Conversation has to start somewhere. One of my greatest desires in life is for community that relishes in meaningful conversation as opposed to small talk (shout out to my fellow introverts who have nightmares about networking and company parties where this is the primary form of conversation). The downside to writing and putting it on a public forum is you are held accountable for your words. On the other hand, humans are transitory beings - we are constantly changing and (dare I say this as a Christian?) evolving. How else am I to pursue my desire for communicative community and delve into conversation to hear other thoughts and opinions (and vice versa), unless I am willing to start the conversation? Yet it is imperative that grace and humility come into play; while I must respect another's thought processes and opinions, I expect them to do the same with mine.

So as I attempt to hone my communicative skills, I intend to dedicate time throughout my week to sit in my (lovely) apartment with a record playing and a notebook on my lap to outline thoughts I would like to turn into conversation, or expound upon ideas brought to my attention in previous conversations. So why do I write? To enhance my ability to be a productive member of society - and isn't that what life is really about?