Puzzle Pieces

"You've been on tinder for two years and you've still never had a committed relationship? What's wrong with you?"

"Eventually you'll have to tell me why you're so closely guarded."

"You come across as so broken. What happened?"

"I still feel that somebody hurt you so much to the bone."

"I want to be the guy that makes you believe again."

All of the above are things that have been said to me in the past month. This is what it looks like to be a single, 25 year old woman in the year 2015 - and I can't say that I don't understand where these young men are coming from.

Somewhere along the way I grew to believe that my worth comes from a romantic relationship, and that if I pray long enough and hard enough that some day my prince would come. Unfortunately, I don't believe I stand alone when it comes to this mindset.

Maybe it was the Church, or pop culture and romantic comedies. Perhaps it was even some other outlet that I haven't thought about yet. At the end of the day I don't believe it was intentional or malicious, but the seed still took root in the minds and hearts of young, impressionable individuals like me.

If I could say one thing, it would be this: I am no more broken than anybody else.

I could easily blame daddy issues, pop culture, or organized religion for the feeling of being unwanted for the majority of my life. At the end of the day I have to look at myself and my life and know that the reason I haven't been in a relationship is because I haven't found somebody that I want to be with - and that's okay. There have been plenty of young men that I have wanted to be with who simply did not reciprocate the sentiment, and I can't hold a grudge against them because sometimes the feeling simply is not there. I know this because I have been the one that didn't reciprocate.

Recently I had it put to me this way: if you were a complete, whole, and non damaged puzzle piece, what would the puzzle piece that complements you look like? This is quite possibly the most beautiful way I have had the idea of a partner brought to me. A puzzle is not comprised  of just two pieces, and those two pieces cannot capture the beauty of a picture as a whole. That particular piece that fits alongside yours does not define the entire landscape of your life's picture - nor does it need to be a romantically interested puzzle piece. 

My twenty-fifth year has been one of the most fulfilling years I have experienced yet. I attend almost every concert I want to go to, I go to Disney World with family and friends, I'm going out and meeting new people, investing in the friendships I have here as well as across the United States, and (my all-time favorite) making time for nights on the couch with wine and Netflix.

Young gentlemen and possible suitors - please know that I don't need a hero, nor do I need to be saved. I never stopped believing in love... I just realized that there is so much more to life than romantic relationships.